Could it be? I am actually writing on my blog? *gasp!*

So, many of you probably wonder where I have been and what have I been doing all the time I have been MIA. One word can sum most everything up - work.

I’ve been super busy at work. ESS (extended school) has started back, so I do that on Mondays and Wednesdays until 4:00. By the time I get home from work, I am just exhausted. I don’t feel motivated to do a whole lot. Ever since I got my laptop, my desktop has been rather lonely and is probably collecting dust. Since most of my files and stuff are on my desktop, I haven’t been working very much on my website or anything. In other words, one of my favorite hobbies (aka the internet) has been on vacation. At least, my blogging has been on vacation. I have many emails I need to reply to as well. I’m trying to get caught up on everything. I still have to add a whole ton of cauldrons from The Quilting Bee Halloween Activity. Pathetic. I’ve been visiting the blogs I frequently visit, but since several of them are participating in NaBloPoMo I haven’t been able to keep up very well.

Okay, enough with the explanations and/or excuses. I haven’t actually been at work this whole time. I mean, I do get to come home every afternoon. I’ve been doing some pretty neat things. For example, I have made my very own lip balms, bath salts, sugar face scrub, and soaps. Making lip balm is really yummy. I love my peppermint kind. In fact, I’m planning on making a whole bunch of bath/body stuff to give as Christmas presents. I’ve also been working with Sculpey/Fimo more. I made a cute little octopus. He was a test of sorts. He turned out pretty good. I think I’m going to make some charms and other jewelry out of clay. An octopus is a good practice animal because it’s only made of little balls of clay.

I painted this one with pearlized acrylics. He reminds me of bubblegum. I also sewed a little tree softie. I got the template for it from a really cool book called Softies. There are some neat projects in there. I didn’t follow the pattern exactly. For example, my eyes are different, and I didn’t give him a mouth. This was a practice tree. I didn’t have the right colors of thread to use. The leaves would look better with colored thread instead of black. It was good experience though. I sewed the trunk and leaves on the tree using my sewing machine. The rest I hand sewed.

The artist who created the cute tree pattern has a website called Little Odd Forest. Check it out for some super cool stuff.

Here’s the other bit of excitement that’s happened. Last Friday night, Colin and I were going to go see The Bee Movie. Before we went, I decided I was going to try to make some beads from clay. I started cutting my clay with this flexible blade that I bought. After cutting a few pieces, my finger got in the way, and I sliced through my finger. It made an awful sound. A little flap of skin was hanging from my finger. I didn’t freak out too bad. I ran water over it and wrapped it up. I decided I probably needed a doctor to look at it.

I went to the doctor and ended up having to have four stitches. The two shots the doctor gave me numbed three of my fingers and bruised me really bad. I’m still bruised. I also had to have a tetanus shot. That made my arm hurt all week. I’m supposed to get my stitches removed sometime this weekend or possibly Monday. I am afraid it’s going to hurt. Wish me luck with that. It’s my ring finger on my right hand and since I am right handed, doing even the simplest things have been tricky. I have a new respect for people who are missing a finger or limb.

Oh! Duran Duran’s new album, Red Carpet Massacre, came out on the 13th. I had to buy it, of course. I love Duran Duran. I was a little worried about this album. They did some work with Justin Timberlake and Timbaland. As a result, the songs are very R&B-ish (not my usual style). The more I listen to it, the more I will get used to it I know. It was just pretty disappointing. Their last two albums have been totally awesome. The only standout song from Red Carpet Massacre is Falling Down. The video for that was apparently banned in England for nudity and such. Typical Duran Duran. Anyway, if you’re looking for some new music to check out, check out Duran Duran’s Red Carpet Massacre.

Thank God it is Friday. I so need a break. Work today was especially busy for me. Next week I only have to work two days because of….Thanksgiving! Yay! A five day weekend!

P.S. I’ll try to blog more often. Also– I am working on my new layout again. Hopefully I’ll get that up before December. No promises though.

Well, tomorrow is the big day. That glorious day that comes around once a year where I get to have what looks like plastic salad tongs and a prickly thing inserted into my private parts. Oh yes, tomorrow I get to go to the gynecologist (”Get to” sounds like it’s a privilege or something.). I’ll be having my yearly breast exam and pap smear. I’ll also have to get my perscriptions for my birth control and sleeping medications. I just hope they don’t pull that sneaky trick where they stick their finger up your bum without telling you. (I’ve only had that happen once.)

Image from Natalie Dee.

Oh joy, what fun I shall be having tomorrow at 2:45.

Edit: So, I just got back from the doctor. There was a man nurse, and I was semi-freaked out. Usually the nurses stay with the doctor during the actual exam. Luckily, he didn’t stick around. The regular nurse came in for that part. Yay for having prickly things scraping around and cold fingers pushing on my insides. :tongue:

I am exhausted. I have been all week. It’s probably the fast that spending two weeks covering a first grade class has caught up with me, mixed with a cold I think I’m getting. Either way, I am so incredibly tired.

The school year’s almost over which means it’s that time of year again where I worry about next year’s job. I’m trying not to worry. I really am. Sometimes it’s hard though.

The county I worked in posted eight teaching jobs that will be available for next school year. I’m not really excited by this. I feel like I should be jumping all over these opportunities, but I feel discouraged for a number of reasons. First, I know (well, I feel pretty certain) that several of the positions have already been filled and are just being posted as a formality. Second, I don’t really care too much for any of the schools that have open jobs right now. Third, the idea of working in another new place for the third year in a row bothers me.

I just wish I had an “established” career. I know it takes years to settle into a job, but I’m really tired of constantly having to move all my stuff around from place to place. I finally found a school I feel totally comfortable at. People like me. They value what I do for them. I am appreciated. I can’t say any of those things about my teaching job last year.

I guess I just have this fear of turning into someone who hates their job but continues to work at it for their whole life. I really like what I’m doing right now. Yes, I get paid way less than I should be, but I enjoy it. It’s fun. I’m good at it, and people recognize that I am good at it. Is money more important than happieness? Well, sometimes it seems that way!! Sometimes I feel like I’m being lazy by wanting to keep my computer lab job instead of being a teacher. Sometimes I feel like I’d be wasting my degree by sticking with my computer lab job, or that I’m being selfish. I could really use the tons more money I’d make from being a teacher.

It’s not that I don’t ever want to be a teacher again. I’m just still really “traumatized” over the Lexington thing. It’ll take a long time to really get over that. That’s why I really like my job now. Everyone is nice to me. I’m doing a good job, and everyone lets me know. I feel….important as cheesy as that may sound. Lots of people have told me that perhaps the Board of Education might want to snatch me up for their Technology Department there. I don’t know if that’d ever really happen, or if that’s something I’d be interested in. I just don’t know….
On another note, Colin found on on….Tuesday, I think, that he was finally approved for his Green Card. We’ve been waiting forever to hear about it. We had our interview in July or August of last year (I think, Colin can and will correct me if I’m wrong) and we were told his FBI background check hadn’t been completed yet. I made Colin call and talk to someone about it a couple of weeks ago. So now we just have to wait for the Green Card that’s not really Green to come in the mail. That’s one less thing to worry about now! Yay!

Sometimes I feel like an old lady. Like, seriously. I have so many health related issues. Granted, none of them are serious, so I am thankful for that. At this moment my head and neck hurt, my left ankle and foot have been sore for a few days (it hurts to walk on it, no idea what I did), my eyes feel sore, I have a feminine issue, and I’m tired. It could be much worse of course. It’s just silly sometimes how “old” my body feels. I’m 24 years old for crying out loud! Oh well. This probably sounds dramatic.

I joined StumbleUpon and installed the Firefox toolbar. I’ve found some cool sites so far. This one is pretty neat. It’s an interactive web radio. You choose the genres you like, and then click on a mood, and it gives you a random song. It’s fun to play with, and colorful! Check it out!

I don’t have a whole lot to say today. I didn’t work today.

I woke up this morning and went to pee as usual. As I was going to wash my face, I got really hot, really dizzy, and my chest hurt a little. I felt like I was gonna barf. I knew I needed to sit/lie down as soon as possible. I walked out of the bathroom and headed for the bedroom.

When I open my eyes, I’m next to the bookshelf in the hallway on the floor. I didn’t know where I was at first. Then I realized Colin and Pouncy were sitting on the floor next to me. Pouncy was chewing on my hair going, “meow, meow, meow” which translates to “mommy! what are you doing on the floor!?”

So yeah. I passed out. I have rug burns on my knees. The right one really stings. My head was also a little sore. I had clipped my hair clip onto my nightgown, so luckily I didn’t fall on top of that or that would have really hurt.

Needless to say, I didn’t go to work today. I felt weird after passing out. I was supposed to start the Scott Foresman online testing today, but I just did not feel like going to work after passing out.

Anyway, staying home from work meant I got to see Pouncy in her super-crazy-hyper morning mood, watch Digimon with Colin, and realx and hang out. Yay for rest.

Spring break is next week. Whoo-hooo!

coming back to school this week was sorta difficult. i would have much rather stayed in bed on monday morning. it’s always so hard to go back to school/work after you’ve been off for a week. ^__^;; i’m doing better but i have this irritating cough that won’t go away.

yesterday was my first KTIP observation. i was observed by my KTIP teacher, anne. she came in at 1:45 for a science lesson. i read a book called from seed to plant. after, i had the kids in groups and they planted beans in jars. they seemed to really enjoy it. the lesson lasted until about 2:45. i told the kids to get their backpacks and they were like “it’s time to go home already?!” (yeah, they got no recess yesterday, but they got the rarity known as science class.) anyway, it went really well and i was pleased. i was eager to hear what anne thought, but once i took my walkers out and came back, she was nowhere to be found. i waited for a little bit. i went looking for her. didn’t find her. waited more. finally i saw her walk past my door. she saw that i saw her and so she came back and said “i’ll get with you friday.”

um…okaaaaaay. i would have liked some immediate feedback. ^____^;;

after it was apparent that i wasn’t going to be talking to anne, i went to mrs. williams’ office. i had to meet with her at 3:30 to discuss my lesson for today. well, apparently i was supposed to discuss the lesson with anne first so that when i met with mrs. williams, everything would be sorted out. well, of course i hadn’t talked with anne. mrs. williams said that since anne is at school on wednesdays and fridays i should have talked to her before. she said anne was absent last friday. (hello- i was absent all last week!) she went on to say that molly, anne, and shannon had all met with their KTIP teachers before they talked with her. (hello! they all have KTIP teachers that are teachers and are at school everyday! mine is there twice a week!) anyway, i didn’t argue with her. i was in her office for an hour and 15 minutes. we discussed my lesson, and she helped me with the core content because i wasn’t sure what she wanted.

i haven’t been sleeping very well. i take all sorts of drugs these days, and none seem to make me sleepy. plus, my annoying cough can keep me (and colin too) awake. so, last night it was hot, and i was trying to go to sleep. i sorta laid there awhile and felt sleepy. then about 1:00 or something maybe, those stupid houses behind the apartment decided to have a huge party. they screamed. they sang. they had music. it was soooooo annoying. so… again, i got little sleep.
i did my lesson today for mrs. williams. i was running out of time, so i shortened the lesson. it went pretty well but could have been way better. she left a note on my desk that said “ms. bratcher, i enjoyed my visit to your class! i will get with you by monday.”

again…. no immediate feedback. oh well. guess she’ll talk to me tomorrow.

there is some read to succeed thing at school tonight, but i’m not going. i have to go buy popcorn and lemonade for the kids’ compliment party tomorrow. (yes, they finally finished the marble jar.) i also have to decorate my writer’s notebook to share with the kids tomorrow.

while i was absent last week, gary moved to a different school. (a choir of angels sing) and i got a new kid first thing monday morning - gage. a third grader finally. he’s great. very well behaved and smart. only problem is- him and monica hanging all over each other. (figuratively) guess monica has moved beyond chase, although she plays football at recess with all the boys still.

embriana was afraid to come to school. she came late monday and her mom brought her in and told me embriana had been telling her family all weekend she was scared of coming to school. well, embriana said the reason why was because kids were talking about her behind her back and making fun of her. she couldn’t really tell me who though. okay, so finally i got her to give me a name (ronnie). turns out, according to the guidance counselor, she likes ronnie. anyway. i talked to mrs. williams and the guidance counselor about it. they talked to her. embriana is no longer afraid to go to language arts. her and ronnie are separated.

*sneezes!* i have lots to do before colin comes home, so ta-ta!

okaaaaay! so, i’ve been busy/stressed.

let’s see, i took off a few fridays ago (mental health day), and i took off the friday my parents went to the daytona 500. then i took off on a monday. i left early on a tuesday. yes. i am avoiding school. or, i was anyway. like, who could blame me, right? here’s the scoop-

1. i went to the doctor. i was waking up nearly every morning feeling nauseated, sick, yuck. i also wasn’t sleeping well at night. i was exhausted. the doctor sucked 3 vials of blood out of me, gave me ambien (sleeping drug) and zantac for my stomach. colin asked me if i was depressed and said if he was me he would be. soooo… i asked the doctor. i have lots of the signs/symptoms except the suicidal thoughts bit. the doctor said if these drugs don’t make me feel better i might need something like zoloft. anne tells me she’s on it and it definitely makes a difference. so, who knows. maybe i need happy pills.

2. anne videotaped me one day last week. it went well. i thought it went pretty good, but then when i watched it back, it looked even better. i guess i was sort of proud of myself. it wasn’t perfect, and i was interrupted twice during the lesson, but the kids were engaged and “got it.” yay for me.
3. we had a staff meeting today minus principal lady and psa. it was about what we are happy with and what we aren’t happy with. there were way more things we aren’t happy about. lots of people are stressed and don’t like their jobs these days. i knew i wasn’t the only one, but hearing the dis-satisfaction of everyone else was quite pleasing for me. it sucks that i’m the one getting all the attention though since i’m new. principal told me before that the behavior problems in my room were my fault because these kids aren’t getting in trouble anywhere else (except maybe specials) and it hit me today- THESE KIDS DON’T GO ANYWHERE ELSE (except specials). derek and hunter are with me ALL DAY LONG!! ahhhh! that makes me so mad. grrrrrrrrr!!!

4. i got new glasses. yay! ^____^

apparently my dad told the superintendent of hopkins county i’m looking for a job. my mom saw dr. edington and told her of my peril.

granted, i know teaching is like, one of the most stressful jobs out there, but this is not the meaning of life here. there is more to it than this bunch of crap i’ve gotten myself stuck in. it’s so dumb sometimes. school’s out in may, so it’s almost over and then i have a wedding. every day that goes by, it just gets more and more stupid. i do not want to conform to that stupidity. i do not want to be drug down with into the firey manlion pit of hell, and i won’t be. it’s just hard to be one of the only bananas in the bag of runts so to speak.

at least there is no school on friday.

well, i went to school like i said on…thursday i guess it was. the fish were alive. ^___^ my room was sort of a mess. desks were totally out of place. books were a mess. tapes in the listening center were a mess. it was very deflating.

i found out about the “changes” that will be occuring. first, i will no longer have any 3rd graders coming to me for language arts. i am quite pleased about that. in return, i will be getting 11 other second graders. 2 can barely speak english. 3 are on a kindergarten level. 1 is a behavior problem. yay! ^___^;;

this lovely change messes up my centers, my guided reading groups, etc. i have to start over basically. i was jusssst starting to get used to the way things were. oh well. teachers should be flexible. ha ha…ha.

i’m so sick of coughing and blowing my nose. i’ve gone through a box of kleenex plus the part of a box colin had left. plus toilet paper. how much stuff can a person have in their nose??

last night colin and i went to see elizabethtown. (orlando bloom and alec baldwin *drools* ha ha ha! ^_____^) i liked it. there were no aliens. no guns. no fighting/violence. no weird special effects. it was a happy feel-good sort of movie. i didn’t even mind basketball head so much (kirsten dunst).

i’m supposed to be observed on tuesday. plus, tuesday is a sub-release day so half the day will be a PD for reading first stuff. i need all the help i can get with that.

cough cough.. *waits for her colin to come home from studying at work and talking to canada people possibly*

yuck yuck i am sick. luckily, i was pretty healthy until now. i’m suprised i didn’t get sick before now.

school has been a rollercoaster lately. here’s what’s been going on:

* not been going too well with my “team.” spoke to mrs. williams about this.
* mrs. johnson wrote us a new writing program to use. looks pretty good. we’ll be doing writer’s notebooks kind of like the “amelia” book series. very cute stuff. makes sense.
* literacy group - got observed by mrs. huff. it was terrible. we discussed it after. she observed me again and she said i made a 100% improvement. yay for that.
* got a new student (japanese). had an emotional moment regarding her and her brother. (first time i actually cried at school).
* had one student switch schools last friday. got a new student monday (the day i left early and went to the doctor. this girl thought she was a walker, so she walked home from school. a parent found her lost on the side of the road, crying. luckily, the mother wasn’t upset. she hadn’t made it clear to the girl what to do after school.)
* celebrated canada thanksgiving with my family and colin.
* got sick on monday. left school early on monday and went to doctor. (i have strep throat.)]
* apparently there will be some changes in our schedule to cut down on the amount of transitioning. hopefully this will be a good thing.
* missed school yesterday. planned on going today. got up this morning, went to bathroom, got hot and dizzy, went to the bedroom and passed out. seriously. colin said i looked like bobby john from survivor. wonderful.
* i feel like i have a ton of things to do and not enough time to do it all…

at least there’s no school thursday or friday. i haven’t been to school since monday. i hope my fish aren’t dead. they haven’t been fed since monday evening…

i hate being sick.