I am exhausted. Like seriously, it’s hard to keep my eyes open this evening. I knew what I was getting myself into of course, having taught before and everything. First graders are exhausting. Yes, they are funny, they can be sweet, they love you as a teacher no matter what you do to them but the bottom line is - I wish they would stop talking. My class will not stop talking. No matter what I try, they still talk. We’re slowly getting better, but it’s definitely a huge challenge.

My class usually has pretty good mornings. We do reading in the morning. After reading, we have lunch, recess, and then specials. After all of that, the kids are done. They are ready to go home. This means that writing class and especially math are very difficult. The kids have difficulty focusing, concentrating, and generally just following the rules in the afternoon.

I spend my entire weekend planning lessons and centers. It’s a lot easier to plan lessons on paper than to carry them out in class. I have a select few students who cause disruptions for the whole class therefore not allowing me to teach how I want to and how I feel I should. I feel so bad for the kids who have to constantly listen to me call others down.

I’ve gotten tougher, but it’s still hard. I’ve been advised to be “mean” and “put on my big boss panties” but it’s easier said than done when that is not really my personality. However, I am learning I think. It comes to a point where enough is enough though.

I’ve had one student in SOS (a sort of in-school detention) three or four times. He was actually suspended for half a day too. I have one girl who cries at the drop of a hat about everything. One girl is totally spaced out most of the time. The kids can’t sit still. They constantly pick at themselves and bleed. One student of mine got sent back to kindergarten (he only completed to months of kindergarten anyway), and I have already gotten a new student. I may be getting another student next week who was originally supposed to be in my room at the beginning of the year but then went to another school. He’s a handful and has a disability, and he may stress me more than I already am stressed.

I’m just so tired. I need a vacation. Thank God I finally got paid the other day. That made it a bit better. I know things will get better. I know it takes time, but I am totally exhausted.